the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
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