So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
