I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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