Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
