Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
