At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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