If i come over, it means nothing
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
