i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
