My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
