if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize