i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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