dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
