Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
