You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
