i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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