My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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