i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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