marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
