Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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