capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
