Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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