don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
