good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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