I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
