He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
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