I must be too annoying 4 u.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
