i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
