piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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