so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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