Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
