I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
That was before I lit my hair on fire
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
