Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
