I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
