He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize