hell yes lets make some ravioli
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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