I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
