At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
