i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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