I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
