are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
