I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
