i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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