i think my tv is drunk
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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