How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
