So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
