I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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