did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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