no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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