she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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