we made out on top of his cat.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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