BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
