fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
