I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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