Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
