I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
