she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
