I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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