Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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