i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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