I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
