we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i permit you to call me
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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