This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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