dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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