they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
sarcasm needs its own font
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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