Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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