found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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