You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
