i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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