if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
