Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
