I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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