my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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