peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
