Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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