I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
