STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Someone shit on the floor
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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