i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
