ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
