Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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